Turning Opposition into an Opportunity

As I reflect on my life, it’s easy for me to say, “I had a difficult life”. However, the older I get, the wiser I have become living a life in God’s grace.

Regardless of the negative forces and traumas I experienced, some of them have help me to realize that my life has a purpose. I was not put on earth to suffer hardships only. I was put here to help and advocate those with emotional barriers in the workplace and dysfunctional families. Those who desire a better emotional life, but triggers from the past get in their way of experiencing greater peace of mind in the presence.

How can ones past, create so much discomfort and dissatisfaction. Apostle Paul said it right when he said , the things I want to do I don’t, and the things I don’t want to do I find myself doing all the time. Triggers are real and come unexpected and unwanted. That’s what triggers feel like, you owe an apology that the person will not receive. So they go into self protection mode and emotional survival. It’s a real war within the soul for some. Humans caused these traumas and evil acts to others.

I believe it’s difficult to asses the degree of an individual emotional pain and suffering. Especially, those acts cause by evil people.

People whose conscious is filled with evil deeds. Could it be possible that people are born with evil built into their minds or have they experienced so much suffering at an early age that it’s impossible for them to obtain the notion of good. What makes a person resilient and another sentenced to a life of darkness and sinful acts?

What causes a person who life is filled with emotional pain to repeat their trauma experience. Again the Apostle Paul asked God to remove his thorn of pain and three times the answer was “NO”. God replied to him with these simple words, My grace is sufficient for you.

Do you believe as I do, that God gave us enough of His DNA that at any time we can bear the pain or we turn from a life filled with evil and wicked ways? Do you believe that our environment is causing the social conditions that we see today? With all the counseling sometimes I feel people are not experiencing enough emotional relief to make the turn or see the possibles to create a positive future.

In the midst of all my emotional challenges, grief and isolation. I find that the majority of my challenges and barriers provided me with the strength and fortitude to accomplish and overcome so much in life.

As a teen mother, I learned early that social systems and hand outs was not for me. (Don’t get me wrong some people need governmental assistance). What I’m saying is that, deep inside I new I was created for more and having a child was not going to limit my capacity to dream and work hard for a better life. Even if it meant, that I had to work two jobs to provide for my family.

Coming from a background of domestic violence and learning challenges help me to make a plan and put goals into action. Today with God’s grace, I have earned a PhD in Ministry and two Masters Degrees. Was it easy- no. Did I need tutors -yes. Did I Cry late nights -yes. Today I can honestly, say that learning is a passion. One day, I had a great life lesson! I don’t have to prove myself, or my worth to anyone except me.

Life can be messy, and mines is no exception, however it is possible to overcome adversities and childhood traumas. First, you have to let go of the past,! dwelling on the past will only keep it alive in your present life.

Secondly, you will have to learn how to forgive. Forgiving does not mean the person that cause you harm is not guilty! It means you may need to forgive yourself so you can release blame and the shame that bad things happen to you.

Third, you have to change to learn a new narrative for your life story. Write it down. You are a survivor. You made it. It may not be your best life now or it’s all good, It maybe that you are here on earth for a reason. So find your purpose or Help someone who went through the same trauma. Share your story with others who care about you. Find emotional support and know this – that you can be the change you want to see.

Finally, healing is a process and Healing takes time. There are “no one healing fit all healing programs “. God heals some people instantly and others will have to experience the slow cooker process. Regardless, Have hope and develop your faith in God, as everyone that believes was given a seed of faith. Grow it!

In closing, know that, none of us live in a perfect world. Some of us may never get to see the good in others or obtain a more excellent life on earth. Keep in mind, it’s not our place to judge only the Holy Spirit can do that. Remember it’s only God who can clean the minds of evil people in this world. Be gentle to the ignorant. Our Lord Jesus experienced more suffering then any of us from both good and evil people. He himself said, Father forgive them for they don’t know what they are doing to me, your Son.

You are His child also, no matter what has happen in your life, God loves you too.

Be bless

Dr Deborah Jones-Allen

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Author: Deborah Jones-Allen

My passion and personal mission is to help those who lives have been affected through the inter-generational transmission of traumas contributing to adverse childhood experiences or ACEs. My goal is to help others experiencing emotional challenges increase their ability to manage adversity, build resilience, regulate and repair their lives, so they can heal. My communication style is non-judgmental, as I share the power of forgiveness through the lens of God’s unconditional love and biblical accounts can help you to understand and share in other people struggles. God's unconditional love is able to heal a broken heart. In 2009, I began my inner healing journey, putting words to her feelings. Sharing intimate emotional struggles of overcoming the adversities of childhood sexual abuse, rejection and challenges as a teenage parent. I am the author of “Mirrored Reflection” an emotional experience to unleash pain, hope and determination. As a native of Miami FL, I live with my husband, Ronald of 21 years. I acknowledged, that it was God, who strengthen our marital relationship spiritually and emotionally, as we cared for our grandson who, also was affected by inter-generational adverse childhood experiences, leaving an impact of emotional neglect and the sting of family dysfunction resulting from young deaf parents. At an early age, he mastered the ability to keep a code of silence at school and from social services sectors to protect the secrecy of domestic violence and physical abuse within his family. My background has aided me to identify and manage challenging behaviors finding solutions when employees are experiencing workplace stress, helping others increase their emotional IQ, as I look for any changes in worker’s behavioral health.

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